It Feels Great

Oh, how it feels to feel!

How truly lucky I am to just feel.

To feel it all.

To feel pain, to feel sadness, to feel joy, to feel anger.

 

For a second there I forgot how fortunate I really am.

Forgot about the energy in my bloodstream.

That violent, unrestricted energy that moves me.

Moves me to scream, and dance, and sing

To fight and fornicate, to kiss and make up.

That feverish, relentless energy that takes me to where I want to go.

I say, “there” and I’m “there”

You say “where” and we’re half way around the world.

 

And to think…

 

The beauty of my body is only half that of my brain!

How flawlessly we fit together.

Awfully flawless.

I see things in color

I smell flowers in the springtime

I hear babies cry and airplanes fly and lectures from those who raised me,

I decide things and create things and take one thing and turn it into some other thing.

I panic about my future,

I regret things I’ve done in the past,

I love and I lust and I hope and I pray that I don’t ever fail to remember,

How great it feels to just feel.

Poem by John O’Callaghan


This poem is one of my favorites and I’m so glad I get to share it with you. As I’ve mentioned on my previous post, John has like a side project called Sincerely, John The Ghost and it consists of a physical book and a 6-song digital EP. You can listen to it on Spotify. 🙂

❤  Pauline

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Go The F*ck To Sleep

PrincessAuroraSleeps

Do you ever just watch as the clock tick by, seconds turn into minutes and try not to think about anything and just get some rest? Do you ever just close your eyes and hope that sleep will just come visit you early that night but then insomnia came over instead? Do you ever just toss and turn on your bed for hours thinking why? If you’ve never experienced these things then you’re lucky.

The purpose of this post is to share my own experience/s with sleep and I trust you not to fall asleep on me. 🙂

Continue reading Go The F*ck To Sleep

Gelo

 

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aes·thet·ic noun: the artistic or beautiful qualities of something

There’s always something about the night. Its dark and quiet surroundings just makes you think. Then there’s the stars and the ambient lights that glows naturally without doing any effort, with the crickets making their sounds that just balances everything. That’s why Gelo and I decided to shoot at night.

Continue reading Gelo

chamsicles

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This girl in the yellow shirt is Chams

It is often that I meet someone that likes portrait photography as much as I do. It is nice to have her practice it with me and so we’ve decided to do our second photo shoot. Yes, we did our first one already and it was a blast. At first it was awkward for me because I was very shy and I am not used to getting my pictures taken. I think we both felt that way at first, we’re beginners.

Continue reading chamsicles

It’s Kind Of A Funny Story

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“It’s so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself.”

This first sentence from the book was all it took for me to dive in.

Story

The story is about Craig, a 16-year-old student from an executive high school in New York. He is determined to succeed in life, to get perfect grades, get into a college that he wants, and to raise a family. By doing so, he was overcome by pressure and anxiety. He stops eating, and sleeping and then depression hits, he nearly kills himself. He then checked himself in the hospital where he wasn’t treated like a sick patient. He met some people who has inspired and changed him along the way.

Thoughts

There are books that I like then there are books like these. They make me feel things that I cannot explain. I just get so hooked on it that I finish them in just one sitting. It was written that the author also spent his time in a mental ward and it just makes the story even more interesting, knowing that he also experienced what the character experienced. There are some parts of the book that didn’t make sense to me, for instance, his thoughts on eating and other patients’ illnesses but there are other parts that stick to me, like him making a brain map and his thoughts in general, they still make me remember and think. I can relate at some point, maybe I just feel sympathetic about that character. The setting was also very intriguing. The author made me feel as though I’ve been there, and being a white collar worker, I’ve had my own hospital experiences and it’s nothing like in the book. There are no identical characters, every one is different and that’s what I also liked about it.

I remember the first time I watched the movie adaptation of this book, I was moved by it even if I didn’t get a chance to see the beginning part. I often experience this by watching a movie the first time so that was a good feeling. After that movie, it got me thinking and then I researched about it and I found out that it was from a book by an author who has an unforgettable name and story, Ned Vizzini. I collected most of his books and to this day, I still try not to cry remembering him, knowing that I will never get a chance to have my books signed by him. This book serves as an inspiration to me in every way. This isn’t just a book about suicide or depression. This book helped me through tough times, when losing someone and growing up, facing the challenges. I have shared this book to people who are close to me and to people who were also intrigued. There’s nothing I’d like more than to share one of my favorites to other people and I will continue to do so.

✨ Pauline

Heya!

I’m Pauline and this is my first time blogging for real. Finally! I’ve been wanting to do this for quite a while now but I didn’t have any idea how and where to start. Then suddenly, I procrastinated and watched a lot of videos about this blogs and stuff and got even more interested, then I thought, “Wow, I wanna start one.” And so, I got a lot of information and inspiration online and landed here. 🙂 I have a lot of stuff going on in my mind right now and I think that if I try to put them in writing, it might help. I’m going to use this blog as an outlet and hopefully, bring out the artist in me since I am frustrated in anything artsy.

Anyway, here are some stuff about me:

  • I try to take photographs, mostly portraits of my friends and I’m not a pro (yet) 😏
  • I make journals and stuff because I have lots of notebooks
  • Books are perfect
  • I watch movies a lot
  • DOGS
  • I might have insomnia
  • I bake! 🙂

There’s plenty more but I’ll save them for later. 😉 In the meantime, I hope you and I enjoy our stay here. See you on my next one!

✨ Pauline